Change has always been difficult for me.. I remember my mom saying I was her only child who wanted to go back to elementary school after going to jr. high.. or back to jr. high after starting high school. But I realize that change is an inevitable part of life.
Many noticeable changes are occurring right now that I can’t ignore, as much as I want to. I’m getting older. Life cannot be as carefree as it once was. School is not just about grades anymore, because it is more than just school, it is my soon to be profession. Religion is no longer just something to strengthen myself, its something I need to share with others.. and hopefully a year from now I will be sharing it full time :). My best friends are getting married and our group that has been basically the same since the 6th grade will never be the same. But none of these are bad things, they are just different things. The hardest part about change is that it makes me nostalgic. It makes me think about the people and things I miss the most:
-I miss the mountains in Alpine
-I miss laughing with Becca
-I miss sharing clothes and hot soup and meaningless dreams with Mandy every day
-I miss having deep conversations with Annie Stapp
-I miss sleepovers at Maddi’s
-I miss Katie Lewis’s voice
-I miss doing everything with and telling everything to Cody
-I miss going up the canyon with Braden and Kody
-I miss working on projects and getting lunch with Molly
-I miss playing with my nieces and nephews
-I miss golfing with Dad and seeing Mom every day
-I miss running and going on bike rides with Annie
-I miss going to Indie shows in Salt Lake
-I miss Mom’s dinners
-I miss dressing up for high school dances
-I miss math!!
And this is definitely not everything I miss. But my point is not to have a pity party, or feel bad about all the things I miss. Even though good memories make me miss the past and sometimes dread the future, I would never take any of them back. And I don’t think I would ever choose to go back in time either. Because as much as I love the past, I love now too. Now is good. I’m learning to appreciate the changes that come.. and look forward to changes the future brings. I love school, I love Logan, I love my roommates, I love fall. I’m looking forward to a St. George trip this weekend, Halloween, running a half marathon in November, Christmas, and snowboarding! Bring it on life...
Aww Lizzie this made me a little teary eyed. Change is so hard, it's the worst. That's probably why e.e. Cummings said, "It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are." You are one of the most courageous people I know (not in a cheesy way). Sharing the gospel full time? What? Call me.
ReplyDeletei can relate alll too well to this post. i've always had a hard time accepting change. i even dread my birthday now (haha). but like you said, it's what makes life exciting and in the President Monson way of looking at things, it can be comforting as well.
ReplyDeleteTake advantage of the now. It goes so quickly. One day you have 6 kids around the table - and then - gone! Part of life and not much we can do about it. Change is growing, and growing is essential. So there you have it. Liz - this was beautifully written.
ReplyDeleteLiz, I loved this, and I did cry! I miss you very much! I can't wait to see you this weekend!
ReplyDeletelizzy u are so smowt. but i'm kinda bummed i didn't make your list. awe well. jk TJK!! i liked this post a lot.
ReplyDeletewow liz, you and I are more alike than I thought. change sucks, but you said it all. call me anytime and we can laugh still :)
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